Thursday, of course was the staff party! Singing Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights with Charlotte in our home made Peter Pan and Cheshire Cat outfits has to be the highlight of the night, especially being booed off stage by that second rate Diva AKA Alice!! How dare she infringe on such talent!
As the DJ faded out the music after the first chorus, he did question: Who the hell thought that was a good idea?
I told him to shut up of course. Me and Charlotte are way before our time, I'm sure.
Other antics with the purple cat include some amazing pole dancing. The bouncer wouldn't let us on stage at first, but 2 seconds later was called to the bar to sort some kerfuffle out, and in perfect timing with the lyrics to Britney - Slave 4 U, Charlotte took my hand, rushed up the steps to the stage and screamed "HERE WE GO NOW" - one of my favourite lines from the song. Coincidence? I think NOT.
Anyway, after launching ourselves at the pole for a good twenty minutes and spinning around until our free white wine spritzers were on the way up and out, we gave up and decided to go to the karaoke bar again, but this not to sing, but just to make tits our ourselves dancing away. Oh well, That's what staff parties are for. That and stamping on Alice's pet dog that she clutched onto all night while dressed as Cruella Deville!
Anyway, Saturday involved a very lazy day after working on Friday and nearly killing myself after eating enough for 5 days, but wait, another party to attend. More like a small gathering in Brixton at my friend Bob's flat. It was another amazing night, but my glands had totally swelled up so the night was more about eat-eat-eating again to try and build up some reserves incase I get ill... Whatever helps me sleep at night, eh?
Me and Bob exchanged gifts - I got her many fabulous pieces of jewelry from River Island and ASOS, a kitten teasing comb especially made to bouff her fabulous hair, and a fabulous vintagesque bag from UrbanOutfitters... Bob got me a KARL LAGERFELD TEE! I am so excited to wear it - maybe on Christmas day? It features his fabulous face on it, in a screen printed manner. Bob also got me a bottle of Absolut Vodka in an AMAZING leather unitard with little bronze studs on it, I so want to make it into a gimp mask, it's amazing!!! Bob always says those little studs remind her of me, as I have always worn a studded belt with the buckle round the back dating back to my greebo days. Love studs.
All that was good and well, until Sunday, after eating a massive hash brown sandwich and watching the Diva herself - Beyonce - showing JHud what for in Dreamgirls, I realized it was 4pm, and I still had a small bit of Christmas shopping to do.
I did a mad dash to Oxford circus, Lush, Marks and Spencer, Superdrug, Topshop, PriMark and Selfridges and managed to get all the presents I needed to get peeps, and a few very important pieces for myself, 2 necklaces which I am going to make something very special with - or rather, I have already made it as soon as I got home, you just need to await the pictures...
Anyway, while rushing back to my car to drive home, I fell arse over tit right in to the snow. a proper movie type fall, legs flying into the air and everything. I never do things by halves, I never just fall onto my knees or my bum, I have to do a proper banana slip onto the ground, whilst clutching at five hundred shopping bags and scrambling right up and then tottering to my car to drive away and DIE!
And here we are, wrapping presents and watching Mona Lisa smile, and me about to down a fudge hot chocolate and a bottle of night nurse and pray I wake up feeling one million times better with no more pain from pole dancing... GOOD NIGHT!
hahahaha i would pay to see that fall!!
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